For better or for worse

Have you ever turned your back on Christ?

This was a question at our small group this week. I didn’t say this then, so as not to offend anyone gathered, but here’s what I think is tied in with anyone’s answer to that question.

Personal relationship. (see RGB)

I know several people who’ve turned their back on God, because He didn’t take care of them like they wanted, because He ‘let’ someone suffer and/or die, etc. Some have come back, some have not.

But the deciding factor of those who either come back, or don’t turn away in the first place, seems to me to be the personal relationship.

Why do I think this? Well, because of some examples that were given. Friends of a couple in our small group had their 5-month-old daughter die from a rare heart disease. They don’t hate God: they hold on to Him more strongly. I’ve seen people lose children, be diagnosed with cancer, live through their parents dying in a shocking or degrading manner, and though they may be angry, express doubts, and really wrestle with their faith, it just makes them cling to Him more closely.

This is true in my life. In answer to the original question, I think: no. Whenever crap happens in my life, I look up at the sky and say two things: Bring it on.
And, You’d better know what’s going on up there, because I don’t, but I’m going to have to trust You through this pain.

Why? Because I have a personal relationship with my God.

I think of two examples of people close to me who have turned their back on God. And I think, though I cannot know for sure, that it was because their relationship with God was piggyback-style. Based on someone else’s relationship. Based on what they were told they should believe, but never discovered for themselves. Based on knowledge or upbringing, not a relationship.

Talking about this in bed last night, Tim, my smart-as-heck husband, brought up a good point. We often think of God as doing things in reaction to what we do. Which may sometimes be true – but not in the way we think of it. We see our kid get sick, crash our car, get our gps stolen, and we think “what did I do that God decided I deserve this?”

That, my friends, is entirely wrong. God is a constant, not a wobbly reaction chemical. He doesn’t wait for us to act and then magically make a decision based on what we’ve said or done. He’s got the rules of the universe already in place: His Grace and Mercy (and Justice).

However, this is so often what we project. I think it’s partly because of literally centuries of this weird, ingrained thought process. Remember in medieval times, and in early American puritan times, when if you got sick it was because you did something and God decided to punish you? Rough way of life I think.

And, in a flip-flop view, to take what Tim said a step further, I think this is what we ourselves project onto our relationship with God, if and when we decide to turn away from him. We act in a reactionary way. We say: if you’re going to treat me (or x person) like this, then I’m done with you.

Now, lets be honest, that’s just being human. That’s how we respond with our sense of justice, and perhaps our training on consumerism and customer service laws. If I don’t get what I deserve, then I’m done with you.

But again, this forgets the aspect of a steady, personal relationship. God is not a yo-yo. We should not react to him as if we don’t have a relationship with Him, as if he were some vending machine that we kick because it doesn’t give the correct change. We should react like we should to a friend or mentor that we trust. I don’t know why you’re doing this, or why this situation is unfolding like this, but I figure you’ve got it under control. Yell if you need help. I’m here, I don’t understand what’s going on or why, but we’re together on this.

That’s the way it should be.