Regressing progress

Oh. To be Amish.

Yes, I really said that. I have a tattoo, several piercings, enjoy my 2009 Hyundai, and probably couldn't live without electricity. But in a recent seminar about some basics of Amish beliefs and histories, I stumbled upon what, I think, is one part of the answer of the "problem" of our culture.

I've been discussing in recent weeks the struggle teenagers and middle-school kids have with purity. purity of thought, speech, interactions, respect for the opposite gender, sexuality, dress, etc. And we've got a great message: Jesus calls you to be an example in purity. And the best part - the Holy Spirit can give you the power to actually combat all of the cultural bombardments that tell us otherwise. Great stuff. But, still insanely hard. Why? main reason for young girls (read: those who engage in sexting) is because they are missing fathers, mothers, are products of divorce, step-parents, second and third marriages, and so on. Thus, with their disconnected and often self-centered parent(s) or guardian(s), they feel the need to be loved. Girls, being so emotionally centered, feel it very acutely in their junior high years. They may or may not know it, but they search for someone, anyone really, to say "I need you. I love you. I want you. I can't resist you, you are beloved and you are mine." with any sort of intonation behind those words. If they're lucky, and maybe a little determined, they'll hear Jesus whispering that through connections with churches, nature, mentors, and so on. If they're the majority, they will look for those words in guys without their best interest in mind, in relationships in general, in unfortunate addictions such as alcohol and drugs, sometimes pornography (junior high girls are the fastest rising market for porn), and many, many more places.

How do we stop this? Often, girls realize that they need to live better lives, that there has to be something beyond the drama,the gossip, the boys touching them, the parents and fighting and abercrombie, etc. something. anything. anything to save them from this havoc-creating world.

My husband preaches that we have to cut off problems at the root. Any good psychologist/counselor would say the same. Not that we can just uproot our entire culture and say "its time for a change, lets head back into the direction of our puritan roots," but that if we strive to live selflessly, the way God meant for us to live, these problems will, literally over time, start to evaporate.

Here's where I see the root of the problem, and why I brought the Lancaster County phenomenon up: Broken families. Yes, I'll even say it, Jesus says it, and Paul says it: Divorce. Its the result of living focused on one-self, not focused on your spouse, as God designed it to be (note: I'm not barring legitimate, biblical reasons for divorce, namely adultery and/or abuse. Check out Gayle Haggard's response to even this one exception: Gayle: "I know your hearts are broken; mine is as well ... What I want you to know is that I love my husband, Ted Haggard, with all my heart. I am committed to him until death "do us part." We started this journey together and with the grace of God, we will finish together."Source: NewLifeChurch.org 11/5/2006).

Its an ugly truth. Ugly to our culture, ugly to the direction we've been going in for literally centuries. But God's pretty clear about this one. We don't like to hear it. Divorce is a nice option when you realize you're not "compatible," sexually satisfied, the center of the relationship, the one calling the shots, and on and on and on down an endless and fatal road. Its nice to know you can date other people, maybe even remarry.

But its wrong. And you know why I think this - other than the very obvious biblical statements? Because I can see the Amish community.

Fact: The Old Order Amish in Lancaster county (black buggies, no electricity, home churches, no state or national overarching organization) retain 9 out of 10 of the kids and youth that grow up in their culture. 90 percent. 90 PERCENT. Show me ONE church that claims to do that. The Catholic church comes close, or used to anyway, because of their youth catechism classes and their ritualistic practices ingrained for life in their parishioners. Not anymore.

And its not like its a blind following here. Every teen gets like four years to go out and do whatever they want, and they will be welcomed back with open arms if they choose to join the church and be baptised around the age of 20. They taste our culture. And not once, not some sort of American streamlined shock, but for years! and they choose to go back to their life. Why? arguably, its simpler with less drama. But there's less individual focus, less privacy, and face it, more hard labor!

Here's why: family. With an average of 7 kids in each family, the Amish children aren't neglected or left to fend for themselves. They grow up spending their entire lives knowing that they are loved. Individuals in Amish communities often have their own special nicknames. They are part of a collective whole that live and move and support each other in everything they do, and they are treasured individually, from birth, for the part they play in that. There is no divorce (or only on the rarest and often rough occasions). Death is a part of life. Hard work is a given, frugality is a must, caring for one another is the bottom line. Widows are loved like mothers, orphans are embraced like biological children. Hurts are healed, pain is born, connection is uppermost.

The Amish are the American puritans before the industrial revolution. A family that prays together, stays together, lives together, loves together. Their love is not, cannot be self-focused. There is no place for that. There is no teaching for that (I'm not undermining self-confidence, that's a whole 'nother topic that I happen to think being a beloved child both at birth and forever after contributes positively too). There is no premise for choosing self over family, siblings, or friends in the community.

Not that its utopia. There are many glitches and inconsistencies in that community. But their basis of culture maintains the family structure as God created it in perfection to be: whole.

So, yes. In many ways, I wouldn't mind being Amish.