Leave a light on so I can come home
Two blogs in one day! Bet this will never happen again. I feel inspired. Which is a good thing, because the older I get, the less inspired I generally feel. Except by children.
Anyway. With that depressing start. This was someone’s status on facebook. No idea what it is in reference to – but do you have those times in life when you feel like you keep getting walloped over the head, and yet that “kick me” sign is still on your back? You’ve been knocked down so many times you can barely see the light up at the top of the stairs, much less the steps themselves. It’s my life story, really. I don’t mean the getting kicked while you’re down part. I mean the leave the light on part. Time and time again I can’t see anymore. Because I’m crying, because it’s snowing, because that rain just keeps on coming, driving against me. And All I want is someone to flip that lightswitch on and illuminate what is around me so I can at least get my bearings and then try to figure out what the bigger picture is.
But I don’t think it says anywhere that I get to look at that bigger picture.
I think as long as God leaves that light on, with enough of a glow to make my way in the right direction, that’s all I need to see. Even if I have to feel my way towards it, and I am blinded by blurry tears, as long as I can still see that muddy glow, then everything is okay.
And I keep trucking on towards home. Not my death, though that’s part of it as well. But home in the peace and safety that I am determined to bask in on a daily basis, the most valuable gift that accompanies eternal life.
12.22.2008
51%
51%
I have never in my life heard a sermon quite like the Christmas eve sermon at LCBC. Which is a good thing actually. Dave used the phrase “51% Christianity.” Incredibly astute of him, because that, in essence is the answer, I believe, to my last post.
I have no idea how this happened, and maybe its only here in our Western consumerist culture where to be a Christian does not, inherently, mean you sell all of your possessions or face death or exile. And somehow, watered down and ignored, we have managed to turn the “God cannot stand the sight of sin and you therefore, if you want a relationship with him, should do everything (in His power, which is endless) not to sin,” message into “well, as long as you try pretty hard and only do not-so-bad sins that you can’t help anyway, you’ll be good.”
As Jonas would say “To try means to fail.”
And, as I think maybe even God Himself would say: “I did not send my only son to die to give you a life to live so that 51% of the time you can act like Christ and fall more in love with us every day.”
It’s rather shameful to take on the mindset that as long as we’re more good than bad, as long as we purposefully do good things to make up for the bad ones, or as long as we pretend to keep trying, it’ll be okay. We’ll still be 51% good. God will still get us into heaven to enjoy the 100% purity of Him every day.
Maybe the message got lost in the media, or the reaction against the older, puritan movements, or just in our whirlwind speed of life. But the message is not, and never was, about being 51% good. The message is about being all good. 100%. All the time.
Impossible! You say. We are human beings! You say. We live in an imperfect world! You say.
All of which are true. I am not negating the fact that we all have sinned and are sentenced to death without the blood of Jesus.
I am trying to dispute the attitude we have adapted of well, if I do just enough to make it by, then Jesus will be satisfied.
Jesus can only be satisfied, as He was only satisfied to give, with our all. Everything. 100%. 100% good. 100% on His strength. 100% giving up our bad habits, fears, chronic addictions whatever. From lying to your mother-in-law to having sex with your boyfriend. From cheating on your time card to manipulating your friends or spouse. From swearing while you’re driving to drinking too much yet again.
God will not accept lukewarm Christians. That is not what He created heaven for. He did not set up a scale outside the pearly gates and weigh everyone to see if they are 51% good before they go in.
God died for us.
God lives for us.
And I think we owe it to the amazing gift and immeasurable strength in Him to not just try, but succeed in being the best that we were created to be.
I have never in my life heard a sermon quite like the Christmas eve sermon at LCBC. Which is a good thing actually. Dave used the phrase “51% Christianity.” Incredibly astute of him, because that, in essence is the answer, I believe, to my last post.
I have no idea how this happened, and maybe its only here in our Western consumerist culture where to be a Christian does not, inherently, mean you sell all of your possessions or face death or exile. And somehow, watered down and ignored, we have managed to turn the “God cannot stand the sight of sin and you therefore, if you want a relationship with him, should do everything (in His power, which is endless) not to sin,” message into “well, as long as you try pretty hard and only do not-so-bad sins that you can’t help anyway, you’ll be good.”
As Jonas would say “To try means to fail.”
And, as I think maybe even God Himself would say: “I did not send my only son to die to give you a life to live so that 51% of the time you can act like Christ and fall more in love with us every day.”
It’s rather shameful to take on the mindset that as long as we’re more good than bad, as long as we purposefully do good things to make up for the bad ones, or as long as we pretend to keep trying, it’ll be okay. We’ll still be 51% good. God will still get us into heaven to enjoy the 100% purity of Him every day.
Maybe the message got lost in the media, or the reaction against the older, puritan movements, or just in our whirlwind speed of life. But the message is not, and never was, about being 51% good. The message is about being all good. 100%. All the time.
Impossible! You say. We are human beings! You say. We live in an imperfect world! You say.
All of which are true. I am not negating the fact that we all have sinned and are sentenced to death without the blood of Jesus.
I am trying to dispute the attitude we have adapted of well, if I do just enough to make it by, then Jesus will be satisfied.
Jesus can only be satisfied, as He was only satisfied to give, with our all. Everything. 100%. 100% good. 100% on His strength. 100% giving up our bad habits, fears, chronic addictions whatever. From lying to your mother-in-law to having sex with your boyfriend. From cheating on your time card to manipulating your friends or spouse. From swearing while you’re driving to drinking too much yet again.
God will not accept lukewarm Christians. That is not what He created heaven for. He did not set up a scale outside the pearly gates and weigh everyone to see if they are 51% good before they go in.
God died for us.
God lives for us.
And I think we owe it to the amazing gift and immeasurable strength in Him to not just try, but succeed in being the best that we were created to be.
12.19.2008
They will know we are Christians by...
They will know we are Christians by our Love….
I don’t know if this is a Christmas song or not, but I remember it as being sung mostly at Christmas. As it was yesterday on the Christian radio station where I live. So soon after I had finished reading a Barna Group study as to why Christianity has come to be viewed so negatively by my generation. The study found, not surprisingly, that many people in their teens, twenties, and thirties have had a bad experience with a person, group, or church, and view Christians mainly as judgmental, hypocritical, and more concerned with the rules they are governed by than the love they are infused with. Though I don’t find the bad experiences people have had with Christians shocking, as I have had them myself, I did find the percentages in the study shocking, as showing a less than a quarter of those decades as being neutral or feeling positively towards Christians. Evangelical Christians especially were seen as some of the most negative representation of the faith.
Oy. I’m not Greek, but that’s the only word for it. On the one hand – I don’t think anyone or anything should ever be judged by one small encounter that left you wondering why they don’t practice what they preach. No one does that 24/7. Everyone hates traffic, crowds of noisy, rushing shoppers, in-you-face you’re-not-good-enough speeches, etc. On the other hand, the large majority of the people interviewed by the Barna group in that study did not list a general feeling towards Christians based on heresay, but on multiple personal experiences with Christians. Most identifying factor of Christians according to three-quarters of the “young people” population? Rejection of homosexuals. MOST identifying position.
Now, along that note, I do not and never will believe that homosexuality is anything but a choice, brought on by any number of legitimate or non nurturing, situations, and misunderstandings. However, “rejection?” Christians should never, ever, reject someone for being a sinner. Because that is what we are. Paul is so clear about this in one of his letters: “judge not, lest ye be judged.” A reality to his life, once converted. Paul realized that as someone who had spent his early life passionately trying to extinguish the church by any brutal means possible, he had no right to judge the prostitutes, gays, liars, manipulators, politicians, lawyers, frauds, step-fathers, abusers, or anyone else.
Not that he accepted what we’ve done and told us to go on doing those things. But Paul, and many others in the Bible, knew this fundamental fact: the sin is not the sinner.
It’s a pretty basic understanding that somehow gets shoved under the carpet in our everyday interactions – mine included. And yet – it is the foundation of Jesus’ ministry on earth. If we are to live like Jesus, full of the love and kindness that I’m sure must have just surrounded Him like a cloud (mixed, I’m sure, with the smell of dirt and sweat and sawdust), then we have to separate sinners from the sin. You can love a person and not like what they’re doing. Parents treat their children like that. Friends treat their friends like that. God treats us like that. He never stops loving us. He never quits, pauses, or momentarily steps out of the office. He can see us as his children through the veil of our many, many mistakes.
We see how Jesus demonstrated that time and time again. The prostitute who poured perfume on his feet. The one who he saved from a death by stones. The untouchables he healed, tax collectors he ate with, thieves he conversed with. Like no one else in history, Jesus is able to separate the sin from the sinner, and be neither condemning people nor encouraging sinful behavior.
Yet, today. Christians are viewed according to what they reject, not what they embrace. Do they know we are Christians by our love? That’s how Jesus was recognized. No crown, no big white horse, no whip, no priest’s garb or three piece suit or receipts from all the charities He’d donated to. By His love.
By His wounds, we all are healed.
By His love, we all can live.
By His love, we should be known.
I don’t know if this is a Christmas song or not, but I remember it as being sung mostly at Christmas. As it was yesterday on the Christian radio station where I live. So soon after I had finished reading a Barna Group study as to why Christianity has come to be viewed so negatively by my generation. The study found, not surprisingly, that many people in their teens, twenties, and thirties have had a bad experience with a person, group, or church, and view Christians mainly as judgmental, hypocritical, and more concerned with the rules they are governed by than the love they are infused with. Though I don’t find the bad experiences people have had with Christians shocking, as I have had them myself, I did find the percentages in the study shocking, as showing a less than a quarter of those decades as being neutral or feeling positively towards Christians. Evangelical Christians especially were seen as some of the most negative representation of the faith.
Oy. I’m not Greek, but that’s the only word for it. On the one hand – I don’t think anyone or anything should ever be judged by one small encounter that left you wondering why they don’t practice what they preach. No one does that 24/7. Everyone hates traffic, crowds of noisy, rushing shoppers, in-you-face you’re-not-good-enough speeches, etc. On the other hand, the large majority of the people interviewed by the Barna group in that study did not list a general feeling towards Christians based on heresay, but on multiple personal experiences with Christians. Most identifying factor of Christians according to three-quarters of the “young people” population? Rejection of homosexuals. MOST identifying position.
Now, along that note, I do not and never will believe that homosexuality is anything but a choice, brought on by any number of legitimate or non nurturing, situations, and misunderstandings. However, “rejection?” Christians should never, ever, reject someone for being a sinner. Because that is what we are. Paul is so clear about this in one of his letters: “judge not, lest ye be judged.” A reality to his life, once converted. Paul realized that as someone who had spent his early life passionately trying to extinguish the church by any brutal means possible, he had no right to judge the prostitutes, gays, liars, manipulators, politicians, lawyers, frauds, step-fathers, abusers, or anyone else.
Not that he accepted what we’ve done and told us to go on doing those things. But Paul, and many others in the Bible, knew this fundamental fact: the sin is not the sinner.
It’s a pretty basic understanding that somehow gets shoved under the carpet in our everyday interactions – mine included. And yet – it is the foundation of Jesus’ ministry on earth. If we are to live like Jesus, full of the love and kindness that I’m sure must have just surrounded Him like a cloud (mixed, I’m sure, with the smell of dirt and sweat and sawdust), then we have to separate sinners from the sin. You can love a person and not like what they’re doing. Parents treat their children like that. Friends treat their friends like that. God treats us like that. He never stops loving us. He never quits, pauses, or momentarily steps out of the office. He can see us as his children through the veil of our many, many mistakes.
We see how Jesus demonstrated that time and time again. The prostitute who poured perfume on his feet. The one who he saved from a death by stones. The untouchables he healed, tax collectors he ate with, thieves he conversed with. Like no one else in history, Jesus is able to separate the sin from the sinner, and be neither condemning people nor encouraging sinful behavior.
Yet, today. Christians are viewed according to what they reject, not what they embrace. Do they know we are Christians by our love? That’s how Jesus was recognized. No crown, no big white horse, no whip, no priest’s garb or three piece suit or receipts from all the charities He’d donated to. By His love.
By His wounds, we all are healed.
By His love, we all can live.
By His love, we should be known.
12.10.2008
All I want and All I need
So. (this is how this brilliant English major and conversationalist begins every single conversation in person or over email). Do you ever have those moments where you look at the path of your life and you say, "Huh. Guess you knew exactly what you were doing God. Sorry about all the whining. Thanks for getting me here with what I need."
I constantly, as do most american consumers, I think, have the urge to say, or even pray "God, if I could just have this..." and you know the rest. Truthfully, I tend towards practical things, like, if we could just have someone give us some portable casserole insulated containers, we could bring meals to people in need. Or a space heater so people could stay with us in the dead of winter when we can't afford to turn our gas heat on. Or some extra money so we could finally finish our kitchen cabinets.
Either that, or my requests tend toward the seemingly impossible. If we could just have enough money to go on vacation for a whole week, and not just to see my parents, but to go someplace tropical, ride a jet-ski, lounge on a beach and then learn to surf. If If I could just get the job I've always wanted, with the best benefits and only 5 miles from my house. If my parents would move down here so that when I have kids, I won't have to pay ludicrous amounts for day care.
One can see that I don't need any of these things I'm asking for. And when I look back at the footsteps that I have sometimes so blindly walked, I see that I got exactly what I needed.
I have a job that is not my dream job, but it has benefits that my husband's will never have, with the ridiculous perks that made it hit the number ten spot on best places to work in PA this year.
I paid an enormous amount of money for my undergrad education, and as a result have strong leadership skills, an easygoing work personality, an endlessly positive attitude towards the impossible and eternal tasks at my day job, superhero time management skills, a tireless work ethic, a hunger to use constructive criticism, and a tenacity and persistence to never let a project lag. Some people's worst boss, I know, but without my almost as much as a mortgage education, I wouldn't have all of those characteristics.
I have a freakin' house, which was one of those diving off a cliff decisions, hoping that I am either more rubbery than Wile E. Coyote and can bounce back up, or I'll fall onto a trampoline. I thought I'd be paying rent until I could pay off my student loans, but I own a four bedroom, amazing kitchen, adorable backyard, front porch with a swing house!
I have somehow inherited the most pleasant, kind, and interesting in-laws on the planet. One of whom lives near me and is an endless support and conversationalist, and another sister and the parents who are unceasingly generous and will always be there for me.
I have a car that I didn't really want (okay, because its not a stick and because its an ugly gold color) which has run strong for two years and 45,000 miles, which hardly ever breaks down and is entirely paid off. And lets face it, for a 2000 pontiac, the insurance is pennies.
And that's just the big stuff. There's the random guy from my short-lived temp job who connected Tim with the job of his dreams. There's the dining room table we bought for 25 dollars that we could transport in Tim's almost as short-lived scion. There's the table saw that let us re-do our entire kitchen and hand-make all of the cabinets that we bought off of craig's list. There's the cards my mom randomly sends with 20 bucks in them, somehow always during the week I'm thinking "How am I going to afford buying food for all the people coming over to my house in three days?" and so on.
It is amazing the intricate patterns God works in our lives. It's probably even more amazing, though in a different way, how often we forget or overlook this fact. He really and truly does never fail us and never leave us.
I always feel bad for those horses hooked up to carraiges in cities with their blinders on. I know its for safety reasons so they don't freak out at movements they see in their peripheral vision in the middle of city traffic, but that's just disconcerting. I can't handle not being able to see everything around me.
So why is it that when I can look around and see all that God's done in my life, sometimes I just look in one teeny direction and see what He hasn't and what I wish He would?
Probably a fault of human nature. But God didn't make mountains that He didn't mean for us to climb. So let get out our walking sticks.
I constantly, as do most american consumers, I think, have the urge to say, or even pray "God, if I could just have this..." and you know the rest. Truthfully, I tend towards practical things, like, if we could just have someone give us some portable casserole insulated containers, we could bring meals to people in need. Or a space heater so people could stay with us in the dead of winter when we can't afford to turn our gas heat on. Or some extra money so we could finally finish our kitchen cabinets.
Either that, or my requests tend toward the seemingly impossible. If we could just have enough money to go on vacation for a whole week, and not just to see my parents, but to go someplace tropical, ride a jet-ski, lounge on a beach and then learn to surf. If If I could just get the job I've always wanted, with the best benefits and only 5 miles from my house. If my parents would move down here so that when I have kids, I won't have to pay ludicrous amounts for day care.
One can see that I don't need any of these things I'm asking for. And when I look back at the footsteps that I have sometimes so blindly walked, I see that I got exactly what I needed.
I have a job that is not my dream job, but it has benefits that my husband's will never have, with the ridiculous perks that made it hit the number ten spot on best places to work in PA this year.
I paid an enormous amount of money for my undergrad education, and as a result have strong leadership skills, an easygoing work personality, an endlessly positive attitude towards the impossible and eternal tasks at my day job, superhero time management skills, a tireless work ethic, a hunger to use constructive criticism, and a tenacity and persistence to never let a project lag. Some people's worst boss, I know, but without my almost as much as a mortgage education, I wouldn't have all of those characteristics.
I have a freakin' house, which was one of those diving off a cliff decisions, hoping that I am either more rubbery than Wile E. Coyote and can bounce back up, or I'll fall onto a trampoline. I thought I'd be paying rent until I could pay off my student loans, but I own a four bedroom, amazing kitchen, adorable backyard, front porch with a swing house!
I have somehow inherited the most pleasant, kind, and interesting in-laws on the planet. One of whom lives near me and is an endless support and conversationalist, and another sister and the parents who are unceasingly generous and will always be there for me.
I have a car that I didn't really want (okay, because its not a stick and because its an ugly gold color) which has run strong for two years and 45,000 miles, which hardly ever breaks down and is entirely paid off. And lets face it, for a 2000 pontiac, the insurance is pennies.
And that's just the big stuff. There's the random guy from my short-lived temp job who connected Tim with the job of his dreams. There's the dining room table we bought for 25 dollars that we could transport in Tim's almost as short-lived scion. There's the table saw that let us re-do our entire kitchen and hand-make all of the cabinets that we bought off of craig's list. There's the cards my mom randomly sends with 20 bucks in them, somehow always during the week I'm thinking "How am I going to afford buying food for all the people coming over to my house in three days?" and so on.
It is amazing the intricate patterns God works in our lives. It's probably even more amazing, though in a different way, how often we forget or overlook this fact. He really and truly does never fail us and never leave us.
I always feel bad for those horses hooked up to carraiges in cities with their blinders on. I know its for safety reasons so they don't freak out at movements they see in their peripheral vision in the middle of city traffic, but that's just disconcerting. I can't handle not being able to see everything around me.
So why is it that when I can look around and see all that God's done in my life, sometimes I just look in one teeny direction and see what He hasn't and what I wish He would?
Probably a fault of human nature. But God didn't make mountains that He didn't mean for us to climb. So let get out our walking sticks.
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