If this post were a catch phrase for my junior high girls class - I'd say: "Relationships are Hard. Period." We make t-shirts with our easy to remember and fun to say phrases that remind us of life lessons.
I've been contemplating this one lately, for many reasons. As friends from college drift apart, I've discovered that I have many friends who aren't neccessarily willing to work at keeping the friendship. Not returning my calls, not really keeping updated on group blogs or facebook, etc. It happens, its not even really a bad thing, because life just changes with time. But sometimes I regret that I am willing to work to keep relationships going, but the other person isn't.
Young as I am, I've seen it in marraiges - often people are willing to make it work for their own selfish reasons, but not for their partner, not for the committment that they made to God and their spouse. So if their selfish reasons are overpowered by other things, they stop fighting for that committment. They stop working at it.
I've seen it in those relationships, if they can be called that, that consist of mostly just sex. That's the easy part. That's the fun part. Once it hits the real relationship, which requires sweat, tears, and hard work on both sides, one or both partners bail.
Maybe its good that I'm young and I already have learned this.
As I thought about this, I realized that it is a concept that many fail at applying to the relationships in their daily life, but may also fail to apply to their relationship to God. It's a two sided relationship, and God will never stop doing the work on his end. He will never stop loving you, chasing after you, talking with you, holding you in His hands. But we so often stop. We forget that it's a two-sided relationship, and instead it becomes This wierd sort of backwards zip-line. We sent God messages. We tell the Lover of Our Soul what we need and why we need it, and the conversation ends there.
Here's a picture from my marraige of what that ends up looking like (motivation aside). I am naturally a person who likes to keep things organized and neat looking. It doesn't have to be spotless, scrubbed clean, or sterilized, I just like surfaces and rooms to look put together. Every Saturday I do the laundry. I wash it, dry it, fold it, bring it upstairs, and put my clothes away. I leave my husband to put his clothes away himself. Sunday goes by. Monday goes by. Tuesday goes by. I don't address him putting his clothes away, because I am afraid that he will just shout at me or tell me to stop nagging and leave him alone, and then we'll both be mad and nothing will get done anyway. Wednesday goes by. What I've expected still has not happened. Thursday comes. On Friday night I sort the laundry in preparation for Saturday morning's first load. I need the laundry basket to carry the laundry downstairs to the washer. The basekt is still full of clean, folded and sorted laundry of my husbands. By Thursday, fed up with trying to wait and not tell my husband what I want him to do, I generally get snippy and say something like "you know its my biggest pet peeve for you to leave laundry sitting out for the entire week. Why can't you just take the forty seconds to put it away?" To which his response is guaranteed to be one of two things: "If it bugs you, why don't you put it away?" Or: "Stop nagging me."
Granted, this is a very ridiculous example of the kind of communication we are often guilty of in our relationship with Christ. We don't say anything for awhile, hoping life goes the way we want it to. When it doesn't we get mad and tell God exactly what we want or need, with a slight attitude since He hasn't seen fit to give us this before now. Sometimes it will never come. Sometimes, there will be piles of laundry covering the entire 4' x 2' section of our bedroom floor, clean and/or dirty. Sometimes, I should just be talking with my husband, strengthening our relationship, not waiting for him to figure out what I want and then yelling at him when he doesn't do it immidiately. Sometimes, God puts in 100% and more, and we sit on the ground, staring balefully up and wondering why this isn't as easy as we want it to be.
Relationships are hard work. Period.
11.21.2008
10.24.2008
We, too
I read a devotional today about Lazarus, about how his spiritual calling/gift was his incredible testimony. and the devotional ended thus: "we too, have died and been ressurected."
Sometimes we forget that. Sometimes I forget that, anyway. I remember to pray for my friends and family. and I remember to have patience, be kind, and trust God for the big stuff and the little.
But how often do I remember the new life I live, the resurrection made possible by Christ? In floating moments of worship at church, or in moments of acute contemplation. But rarely while I shower, drive, type, and do chores.
We too, have died and been ressurected. We too, have this great testimony to share.
Sometimes we forget that. Sometimes I forget that, anyway. I remember to pray for my friends and family. and I remember to have patience, be kind, and trust God for the big stuff and the little.
But how often do I remember the new life I live, the resurrection made possible by Christ? In floating moments of worship at church, or in moments of acute contemplation. But rarely while I shower, drive, type, and do chores.
We too, have died and been ressurected. We too, have this great testimony to share.
10.21.2008
Entire Sanctification: Mounthful of Jargon - or Hope?
Ah, the Nazarene Swirl - I mean doctrine. For those of you who are wondering, the Nazarene movement came just about a hundred years ago, from the Wesleyan Church, which came from
the Methodist/Puritan movement begun by John Wesley, that great linebacker.
The big breaking point for Nazarene's to compose their own denomination during the "holiness" movement was the phrase "entire sanctification.” It’s a weird theological point that goes hand-in hand with salvation.
The basic definition is that at some point after salvation, when sinners are covered by the blood of Jesus and forgiven their sins now and forevermore, we sinners should commit our every day to becoming more like Jesus. Not on our own strength, but on His own strength, a handy little fact with enormous possibilities. This is "entire sanctification" being covered and guided by the Holy Spirit to attain perfection.
When we are cloaked in the Holy Spirit, we, as sinful humans, have the possibility of becoming sinless. The sad reality is that in this life, on this earth, that is impossible. Then again, with God all things are possible, which means that at some points in time in our lives, we could indeed be “sinless.” If only for a moment. And underline this point: only because of Jesus' own blood and God’s own strength.
So in our strivings following salvation to live as Jesus’ would, he makes it clear that He will be the means, if we will be the vessel to focus on and strain towards a perfect life. One in which we always consider others’ needs before our own, consider our own wealth in this world not ours but those who need it, and maintain that the message of Jesus Christ should always be utmost in our actions and words.
It's a hard calling, and the “entire sanctification” that Nazarene’s preach is the message that it is possible to live as Jesus lived, even in today’s polluted, convoluted, and downright despicable world. With the cloak of sanctification – God’s act of making His people Holy – we can strive for His holiness to be the entire motivation for everything we do and say. Hence “entire.” It is entire in that God does nothing half way, and the possibility of being sinless, washed by His blood and living His choices is attainable, though not maintainable permanently on earth.
This is probably confusing to many, and I’ve heard it expressed in this way:
It’s like marriage vows. Depending on the wording, the vows expressed in that sacred commitment include to cherish, to care for, to love unconditionally, etc. Just because you made those vows does not mean you will remain in them at all times and never slip up, even miniscule-ly. What it does mean is that with those vows, you promise that every single day you walk this planet, you will put everything you have into committing to your spouse. There are days you mess up, but you know that ultimately those vows and that wedding day created an expectation and a possibility that you can be a part of the perfectly growing and loving marriage.
Thus, when you are entirely sanctified, you acknowledge that by His Grace, you are healed, and that you will go on from that moment in your life to spend every moment reaching for that sinless and perfect existence. It does not mean that you are perfect, but rather than the Holy Spirit deigns to make it possible to walk with Him and be like Him, though we are sinful in nature.
This is crazy theology here. Many people get the logic of this twisted, mainly because there is very little logic involved. God is rarely logical, seeing as His “mind” probably functions at a much higher level than our own as humans. His logic is Hope. His logic is Peace. His logic is the blatant acceptance of the worst of evils in order to present the cleanest and whitest of souls. It’s not supposed to make sense.
Some others misinterpret this line of theology, thinking that “entire sanctification” translates into instantaneous and eternal perfection – like the Amish and the Quakers try to pursue: a sinless existence. Sadly folks, good Nazarenes and everyone else in the world alike can acknowledge that humans will never be permanently without stain on this earth. No one is touting this.
What this theology stands firm upon is the unending Grace of God the Father. The idea that a being so exalted would make a point to come down to earth, die for every soul that has ever sinned against God, and then offer free shiny clothes and the possibility to become like Him.
Pretty much the best possibility I’ve ever heard of.
the Methodist/Puritan movement begun by John Wesley, that great linebacker.
The big breaking point for Nazarene's to compose their own denomination during the "holiness" movement was the phrase "entire sanctification.” It’s a weird theological point that goes hand-in hand with salvation.
The basic definition is that at some point after salvation, when sinners are covered by the blood of Jesus and forgiven their sins now and forevermore, we sinners should commit our every day to becoming more like Jesus. Not on our own strength, but on His own strength, a handy little fact with enormous possibilities. This is "entire sanctification" being covered and guided by the Holy Spirit to attain perfection.
When we are cloaked in the Holy Spirit, we, as sinful humans, have the possibility of becoming sinless. The sad reality is that in this life, on this earth, that is impossible. Then again, with God all things are possible, which means that at some points in time in our lives, we could indeed be “sinless.” If only for a moment. And underline this point: only because of Jesus' own blood and God’s own strength.
So in our strivings following salvation to live as Jesus’ would, he makes it clear that He will be the means, if we will be the vessel to focus on and strain towards a perfect life. One in which we always consider others’ needs before our own, consider our own wealth in this world not ours but those who need it, and maintain that the message of Jesus Christ should always be utmost in our actions and words.
It's a hard calling, and the “entire sanctification” that Nazarene’s preach is the message that it is possible to live as Jesus lived, even in today’s polluted, convoluted, and downright despicable world. With the cloak of sanctification – God’s act of making His people Holy – we can strive for His holiness to be the entire motivation for everything we do and say. Hence “entire.” It is entire in that God does nothing half way, and the possibility of being sinless, washed by His blood and living His choices is attainable, though not maintainable permanently on earth.
This is probably confusing to many, and I’ve heard it expressed in this way:
It’s like marriage vows. Depending on the wording, the vows expressed in that sacred commitment include to cherish, to care for, to love unconditionally, etc. Just because you made those vows does not mean you will remain in them at all times and never slip up, even miniscule-ly. What it does mean is that with those vows, you promise that every single day you walk this planet, you will put everything you have into committing to your spouse. There are days you mess up, but you know that ultimately those vows and that wedding day created an expectation and a possibility that you can be a part of the perfectly growing and loving marriage.
Thus, when you are entirely sanctified, you acknowledge that by His Grace, you are healed, and that you will go on from that moment in your life to spend every moment reaching for that sinless and perfect existence. It does not mean that you are perfect, but rather than the Holy Spirit deigns to make it possible to walk with Him and be like Him, though we are sinful in nature.
This is crazy theology here. Many people get the logic of this twisted, mainly because there is very little logic involved. God is rarely logical, seeing as His “mind” probably functions at a much higher level than our own as humans. His logic is Hope. His logic is Peace. His logic is the blatant acceptance of the worst of evils in order to present the cleanest and whitest of souls. It’s not supposed to make sense.
Some others misinterpret this line of theology, thinking that “entire sanctification” translates into instantaneous and eternal perfection – like the Amish and the Quakers try to pursue: a sinless existence. Sadly folks, good Nazarenes and everyone else in the world alike can acknowledge that humans will never be permanently without stain on this earth. No one is touting this.
What this theology stands firm upon is the unending Grace of God the Father. The idea that a being so exalted would make a point to come down to earth, die for every soul that has ever sinned against God, and then offer free shiny clothes and the possibility to become like Him.
Pretty much the best possibility I’ve ever heard of.
9.30.2008
The Lord Gives.....working towards deliverance
Tonight at my young couples Bible study, one of the questions concerning our exploration of ecclesiastes was "Can you think of a time where you didn't feel like God was there, that He had let a bad thing happen?" The obvious answer is yes, so much of a resounding yes that I could not count the emotional memories connected to that question.
One of the guys that attends our bible study spoke up with a story I've heard before, that his grandfather was terminally ill with emphasima (sp?) during his college years, and then ended up dying. My friend said that the only saving grace that allowed this guy to keep his faith was that his grandfather was allowed to die at home in his own bed, surrounded by family. But even just the debilitating disease affecting the person my friend looked up to the most had an effect upon his faith. Though his grandfather was a devout catholic and was not bitter; the "why did this happen to a good man" question still lives in my friend's heart and soul. And not in a...safe, comforting way, like with time and perspective, or even just acceptance without understanding, he and his faith have grown. In a grudge-holding, hurt kind of way, and his relationship with God is handicapped because of it.
A similar thing happened to my father when he was in his twenties. His favorite and most respected friend, his grandfather, died. In that moment, my dad disowned his God. Not decided that God didn't exist, but rather that the God that did had no mercy for those who deserved it.
For years, he shouted at God, bitter and in pain about the death.
One day. In a church for the first time in years, with his new girlfriend who insisted that it was going to be with God or without her, my dad broke down in tears. I have never seen my dad cry in all of my life; not through pain, not through the birth of his children, not in joy. My mom says he bawled like a baby in the back of that church. And he saw his God again, not as the stranger and sinful being he had created God to be in his mind, but for who He is, and was, and is to come. A Just, Merciful, Grace-filled, Omnipotent God.
God did not kill either grandfather. Nor did He let either one die in an act of apathy.
Everything works together for the good of those who love him. As a pastor at my church would say "God always works towards deliverance." Though we cannot see it, though we cannot understand it, though it seems nonsensical to us, the everyday events of this world are always working towards deliverance. Evil still exists, and bad things happen because of our original choice in the garden and our choices now as sinful human beings, but God does prevail. He will always weave the events and relationships together for the good.
My friend and my dad demonstrate two ways to react to the sorrow that life may bring. One recovered his faith, and realized that God will give, and God will take away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Though he slay me, yet I shall trust in Him.
One of the guys that attends our bible study spoke up with a story I've heard before, that his grandfather was terminally ill with emphasima (sp?) during his college years, and then ended up dying. My friend said that the only saving grace that allowed this guy to keep his faith was that his grandfather was allowed to die at home in his own bed, surrounded by family. But even just the debilitating disease affecting the person my friend looked up to the most had an effect upon his faith. Though his grandfather was a devout catholic and was not bitter; the "why did this happen to a good man" question still lives in my friend's heart and soul. And not in a...safe, comforting way, like with time and perspective, or even just acceptance without understanding, he and his faith have grown. In a grudge-holding, hurt kind of way, and his relationship with God is handicapped because of it.
A similar thing happened to my father when he was in his twenties. His favorite and most respected friend, his grandfather, died. In that moment, my dad disowned his God. Not decided that God didn't exist, but rather that the God that did had no mercy for those who deserved it.
For years, he shouted at God, bitter and in pain about the death.
One day. In a church for the first time in years, with his new girlfriend who insisted that it was going to be with God or without her, my dad broke down in tears. I have never seen my dad cry in all of my life; not through pain, not through the birth of his children, not in joy. My mom says he bawled like a baby in the back of that church. And he saw his God again, not as the stranger and sinful being he had created God to be in his mind, but for who He is, and was, and is to come. A Just, Merciful, Grace-filled, Omnipotent God.
God did not kill either grandfather. Nor did He let either one die in an act of apathy.
Everything works together for the good of those who love him. As a pastor at my church would say "God always works towards deliverance." Though we cannot see it, though we cannot understand it, though it seems nonsensical to us, the everyday events of this world are always working towards deliverance. Evil still exists, and bad things happen because of our original choice in the garden and our choices now as sinful human beings, but God does prevail. He will always weave the events and relationships together for the good.
My friend and my dad demonstrate two ways to react to the sorrow that life may bring. One recovered his faith, and realized that God will give, and God will take away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Though he slay me, yet I shall trust in Him.
9.19.2008
Ratio of Care
I am constantly trying to remind myself that God knows and cares about all of these big unknowns in my life. But sometimes, something comes up that reminds me that God knows and cares about the tiniest details in my life.
Last night was one of those nights at the end of one of those days. I left for work at 7:45 a.m., spent three hours on my feet at a meeting I didn't need to be at, rushed around in heels planning an event, drove a half an hour after work to a meeting, drove back home and went to the gym, and then stopped by the store on the way home. I didn't get home until 9 p.m. At which point, Tim was out at his men's Bible Study, so I was all alone.
Feeling very solitary, I decided to call someone. One of my friend's is in China, two others didn't answer their phones, and my mom was busy. So I wallowed for a bit in my own lonliness. Then my phone rang! Excited, I picked it up, expecting a returned call from a friend. What I got was Houghton's fund. The girl making the call was a freshman at my alma mater, and seeing as this was only the third week of school, probably feeling overwhelmed. She sounded nervous and not sure what to say, so I eased her into a conversation. We talked for about fifteen minutes, giving advice, talking about the new experience and new england, where we both originated from. She left the call sounding much more confident in herself (even though I didn't give any money). I hung up feeling better, having just chatted with someone.
I stopped for a second, realizing that in the exact moment of my lonliness, God sent a ray of light. in an unexpected way, of course. But He didn't just pretend He didn't hear because I was whining again, He saw my need, essentially, knew my need, and provided exactly what I needed. I never cease to be amazed.
Last night was one of those nights at the end of one of those days. I left for work at 7:45 a.m., spent three hours on my feet at a meeting I didn't need to be at, rushed around in heels planning an event, drove a half an hour after work to a meeting, drove back home and went to the gym, and then stopped by the store on the way home. I didn't get home until 9 p.m. At which point, Tim was out at his men's Bible Study, so I was all alone.
Feeling very solitary, I decided to call someone. One of my friend's is in China, two others didn't answer their phones, and my mom was busy. So I wallowed for a bit in my own lonliness. Then my phone rang! Excited, I picked it up, expecting a returned call from a friend. What I got was Houghton's fund. The girl making the call was a freshman at my alma mater, and seeing as this was only the third week of school, probably feeling overwhelmed. She sounded nervous and not sure what to say, so I eased her into a conversation. We talked for about fifteen minutes, giving advice, talking about the new experience and new england, where we both originated from. She left the call sounding much more confident in herself (even though I didn't give any money). I hung up feeling better, having just chatted with someone.
I stopped for a second, realizing that in the exact moment of my lonliness, God sent a ray of light. in an unexpected way, of course. But He didn't just pretend He didn't hear because I was whining again, He saw my need, essentially, knew my need, and provided exactly what I needed. I never cease to be amazed.
9.09.2008
Lost the Identity
I used to wear an ID bracelet (that I conveniently ordered and then had my dad pick up from a jewlery store so he'd have to pay) that had the word "Beloved" engraved on it. It wasn't from my now-husband, Tim, or from a creepy secret admirer. I picked it out myself, to remind myself every day of my identity. Some say Identity in Christ, but I feel like that puts a clarifier on it. It doesn't need to be clarified. It's the entire foundational level of my identity, like the fact that I'm the eldest sibling, I look like my dad, I sound like my mom, I tell it like it is, I make things more dramatic, I don't waste time, I love to write, and my butt is always in good shape :) But before all of those things, before the nature, the nurture, the choices, is the ground zero of my life: I am God's Beloved.
Some of you may recognize the inspiration of my bracelet from Henri Nouwen, with good reason.
I read a devotional the other day, after a couple of recent rejections in one of those situations that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't please my editors. Side effect of being a writer. They know me, they like me, they just are impossible to match exactly sometimes. I was very frusterated and trying not to despair, telling myself: for every article that doesn't come to fruition by being published (and myself getting paid) there's another publication that has asked me to write for them. But logical math doesn't help the grieving woman!
The devotional, by the much-admired Max Lucado, discussed how rejection, on human terms, can hurt very deeply. But on a spiritual and emotional plane, maybe wallowing in that is ridiculous. If I know my Father in Heaven has not, will not, and cannot reject me, then what does it matter if silly, sinful people do? The most perfect Being there ever was, or ever will be, has declared that he will not let me go, will not let me fall, and will not ever send me packing. Ever. For as long as we both shall live.
So why should I lose my identity, my grounding, me, every time things don't go my way? Just because someone does not appreciate my effort or accept my hard work, so what? They can do whatever they want. The foundation, my Beloved status, will not be shaken. Houses with strong foundations are less likely to fall prey to natural disasters. If I trust in my foundation, why should itty bitty breezes, or even large gusts of wind knock me down?
I don't have that ID bracelet any longer. But I will remember the reason I bought it: To declair the definition of my life. To never forget who I am. Beloved.
Some of you may recognize the inspiration of my bracelet from Henri Nouwen, with good reason.
I read a devotional the other day, after a couple of recent rejections in one of those situations that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't please my editors. Side effect of being a writer. They know me, they like me, they just are impossible to match exactly sometimes. I was very frusterated and trying not to despair, telling myself: for every article that doesn't come to fruition by being published (and myself getting paid) there's another publication that has asked me to write for them. But logical math doesn't help the grieving woman!
The devotional, by the much-admired Max Lucado, discussed how rejection, on human terms, can hurt very deeply. But on a spiritual and emotional plane, maybe wallowing in that is ridiculous. If I know my Father in Heaven has not, will not, and cannot reject me, then what does it matter if silly, sinful people do? The most perfect Being there ever was, or ever will be, has declared that he will not let me go, will not let me fall, and will not ever send me packing. Ever. For as long as we both shall live.
So why should I lose my identity, my grounding, me, every time things don't go my way? Just because someone does not appreciate my effort or accept my hard work, so what? They can do whatever they want. The foundation, my Beloved status, will not be shaken. Houses with strong foundations are less likely to fall prey to natural disasters. If I trust in my foundation, why should itty bitty breezes, or even large gusts of wind knock me down?
I don't have that ID bracelet any longer. But I will remember the reason I bought it: To declair the definition of my life. To never forget who I am. Beloved.
9.04.2008
Shouting = Faith
I am not the writer of this inspiring piece, its from Streams in the Desert; the september 4th reading:
"Now, no on can suppose for a moment that this shout caused the walls [of jericho] to fall. And yet the secret of their victory lay in just this shout, for it was the shout of a faith which dared, on the authority of God's Word alone, to claim a promised victory, while as yet there were no signs of this victory being accomplished. And according to their faith God did unto them; so that, when they shouted, He made the walls to fall. "
"Now, no on can suppose for a moment that this shout caused the walls [of jericho] to fall. And yet the secret of their victory lay in just this shout, for it was the shout of a faith which dared, on the authority of God's Word alone, to claim a promised victory, while as yet there were no signs of this victory being accomplished. And according to their faith God did unto them; so that, when they shouted, He made the walls to fall. "
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
